Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Building your support system

         When we announced to everyone that we had decided to pursue adoption, most people were very supportive of us. Both of our parents told us how proud they were of us to begin our family through adoption. Our siblings came along side us and celebrated our choice to adopt. And our friends, both those who knew and didn't know about our infertility, congratulated us on the decision we had made. Yes, there definitely were some people who couldn't understand why we made that decision and tried to talk us out of it, which lead me to this blog post.
         When everything in life seems to be going like it should, whatever that looks like, the people who say they will support you through your ups and downs are pretty numerous. But when you start to experience hardships you really realize who is there to ride those emotional rapids with you. The people you might have thought were going to be there are all of a sudden "too busy" and can't offer the emotional support you need. We've experienced this quite a bit, at different times in our lives, and the same holds true regarding our decision to adopt. And it can be easy to focus on those that leave, but being the eternal optimist I am, I've chosen to focus on the unexpected support we've gotten.
         With all the cyber connections we have in today's society, it's easy to say you're still "friends" with people you met during school because you're Facebook friends. We all know that's not true. But when we announced to everyone we were adopting, one of my friends from high school and my undergraduate program, sent me a private message and offered her support in any way possible. We might not have spoken for several years, in person that is, but I can safely say she is one of our biggest supporters. She has come along side us and has gently offered guidance, but mostly she has just encouraged us and loved us. Just writing this now makes me tear up because of how genuine her support is. We've had a few other experiences like this that have helped us forget about those who question our decision and focus on those who support us.
         We know that it will definitely take a village to raise our little love baby, and I am so excited for them to meet the "villagers" we've chosen to take part in our lives. It can be hard to let go of those who you thought would always be the ones to help, but it's heart warming to know that people out there love our baby just as much as we do.

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