Thursday, September 4, 2014

Tears, fears, and years

          Hormones make you cry. Or at least they make me cry. Luckily, though, this round of the prometrium (progesterone) has been much easier to handle then previous cycles. I've only cried a few times, but mostly I've just been sleepy. The same is true for the letrezol (medicine that makes me ovulate). I haven't had very many emotional outbursts and luckily a nap fixes any side effects I might be having. So that's the good news. That's what has gone well this cycle. But... like everything else, we did have quite a few hiccups through this whole new process.

          Like I said in my last post, every day has basically been scheduled out for me. I take the progesterone for so many days, should start my period on a certain day, should have a period for a certain amount of time, then I take the letrezol for a certain amount of days, and during all that I go in for two procedures to see how everything looks on the inside. Well, just like everything else we have done on our infertility journey, that schedule didn't exactly work out. I did take the progesterone and I was supposed to start my period two weeks after taking it... instead I started a week into taking it and had to continue taking it, which resulted in the heaviest and longest period I have ever had! I'm pretty sure there were a couple days where Skyler and Magic thought I might die from blood loss! The good thing from this, though, is I have had a lot of steak lately! Anyway... once I started my period I then had to schedule my procedures for cycle days 5-12 because I had to have finished my period but not have started to ovulate yet. So I scheduled my procedures for yesterday, cycle day 9, because in the past my periods were completely done by cycle day 7... but not this one! On Tuesday, which was cycle day 8, I was still bleeding, so I called my doctor to see what I should do. I probably called ten times throughout the day talking to different nurses who all said different things. Some said the amount of bleeding I had wouldn't interfere with the procedures and others said that I missed my window for this cycle and would have to reschedule for my next cycle cause they didn't have any openings for the rest of the week.

         Getting conflicting information was hard enough, but hearing people say I would just have to wait for my next cycle was heart breaking. One because that's what I've been doing my whole life... waiting for my first natural cycle! Two because the nurses didn't seem to get it. I explained that it takes so much for me to do a cycle and waiting for another one could take a while, but there wasn't very much sympathy or empathy. So I cried. I cried with Skyler, with my best friend, and with my boss. I just kept wondering why nothing ever seems to work out. Why everything always has some hiccup in it that totally throws off our game plan.

         Through my break down with my boss, she encouraged me to still go to the appointment because the worst they could say is that I would have to reschedule, but the best thing they could say was that they could do the procedure. Well long story short, Skyler and I kept my appointment and went in for the procedures yesterday. When we were taken back to the ultrasound room I told the nurse who checked us in that I was still bleeding and she explained that the doctor should be able to still do the procedures- phew! Then our doctor came in and I told him the same thing and he felt he could still do the procedure- thank goodness. His nursing assistant then came in and explained to the doctor how she was one of the nurses who told me that I would have to reschedule for my next cycle since I was still bleeding. Luckily our doctor stood up to her and said, "Kate has to go through a lot to have another cycle, it just doesn't happen for her. We're going the procedures today." The nurse wasn't very happy about that, but Skyler and I were.

         So we did the first procedure to see how my uterus looked and if I had any polyps or cysts and thankfully everything looked great! Then we started to do the second procedure where they put a saline and air solution through my fallopian tubes to see if I have blockages or anything like that. Well that procedure hurt so bad and the nurse wasn't going as slow as she should've been, but in the end everything checked out good there too. After all of that our doctor took us back to his office and asked about chromosomal testing. He said usually if a girl hasn't menstruated by age 16 they do a chromosomal test to see if fragile x syndrome is a contributor at all. Our doctor then had me go get my blood drawn to have the genetic tests done and sent Skyler and I home. Well like most people nowadays, as soon as we could we both stayed researching fragile x syndrome as much as possible and found some very interesting things.

         Basically, fragile x syndrome is a mutation on the x chromosome that is highly correlated to autism, learning disabilities, and behavioral disturbances. Individuals can be carriers without having signs or symptoms, but some women who are carriers have infertility issues and a lot of the same signs and symptoms of PCOS. We also found out that when passed from father to child the gene doesn't mutate further, it'll just give the child a greater likelihood of being a carrier as well. If a mother passes the gene to the child, though, the chance of the gene mutating into fragile x syndrome is very high.

         So now we wait for our results. Depending on what the answer is will result in what path we pursue next. And as we've been telling people what has been happening, most say how sorry they are, but I'm not. I finally have a doctor who after ten years is trying to truly help me. I might get an answer that for ten years no one has wanted to give me and for all of that I am overjoyed! I finally have a sense of peace knowing that everything isn't totally my fault and that there is always a new path to go down :-)

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